Did you open this post hoping to find the one true secret to success? I have a different secret for you…there is no one way, secret or otherwise, to do anything!
In fact, your time would be better spent looking for your best path to success. Instead, many people hope to find the quick-fix, super-secret, just-for-you-today-only, ultra-exclusive, platinum-card-only magic method to getting everything they want right now. Raise your hand if you know someone like this.
Sometimes it’s easy to forget that we are all leaders, in one sense or another. At any given moment, and based on any given decision we make, some person is seeing us in action and making a judgement call to emulate us, or to perhaps decide they don’t agree. You might be wondering if I’m suggesting that you need to be all things to all people? No. In fact, successful leaders are rarely winners of popularity contests.
The real question is, when you look at the human in the mirror in the morning, how are you leading her/him today? Are you following a path to success, or are the two of you just going through the motions? I’m not judging. In fact, I think it’s safe to say everyone has been in that rut before. You may have heard that there is a recession that is just about over (!).
The truth is, I have had a number of friends who, like me, found themselves laid off this year. Some of them were able to rebound and find work, even if it was contract work like mine. Some are still looking, and many including those still employed are struggling with what their next step should be. Go back to school? Accept a position in another city? Freeload off of relatives?
One of those friends, Larry Parke, made a comment to me that was worth remembering. When I was in the peak of my hunt for work he said, “You may have to reinvent yourself.” …uh …I’ll get right on that. Seriously, I didn’t even have a clue how to respond to that. What does that even mean? I wondered if McGyver was going to pop through the door with some duct tape, a shoelace, and a paperclip and reinvent me. Actually, the truth was even scarier than Richard Dean Andersen smashing through a plate glass window with his Social Security check still uncashed in his pocket.
Okay, I’m digressing. The question is “how do you find that path to success?” and even more important, “how do I know if I need to reinvent myself, and how do I do it?” See…scary stuff.
Fear be gone! Because, all three questions have one answer: Get help! No, I don’t mean “professional help”. I mean, find people that are successful at what you want to be successful at, and hang out with them. Here are some examples:
When I wanted to be a more competitive bowler, I found that when I competed with (and hung out with) really good bowlers, I learned things and improved my game. Now I maintain a 200 average.
When I was laid off, I kept hanging around with employed people. No, not in the parking lot of my old job. In different organizations. Toastmasters, my local PMI chapter (Project Management Institute), and I attended some monthly luncheons with the Wichita Professional Communicators to name a few groups.
When I decided I wanted to become a professional speaker, I started looking at how others were successful, and taking opportunities to emulate and learn from them. In fact, that’s why I do this blog every night. One thing that makes a successful speaker successful is writing. The jury is still out on where this will take me, but the point is reinventing yourself doesn’t have to mean duct tape or a trip to Nepal. It can mean small, incremental changes to better align yourself with the path you need to be on to be successful.
So it turns out there is one true secret, at least in this post. The secret is “Stop looking for the secret!” If you want to make a change, find the human who best represents that change, and learn what s/he knows. Getting on the right track is only half of the battle, once you’re there, it’s up to you to move forward. You can stay in that rut for a while, if you want to. But why would you? Get out there and get on the path!
I used to tell my troops in the Air Force that they should always seek to progress in their professional development. Even when you have a period of time where you can’t get things done, every little bit you do will add up to make you more successful over the long haul (a.k.a your life). There were so many folks that would take any excuse not to move forward in their goals. In my experience, if you want an excuse, one will be there for you.
Take college for example. If you’re working full time, it’s easy to see how it would be very difficult to complete a BA or BS in just 4 years. However, there are two other possibilities for where you can be in four years.
First – Excuseville. This is where you’ll be if you let every little “reason” in the world “delay” (a.k.a. stop) you from starting on your dream.
Second – Moving forward on the road to that degree. Even if you only finish 8 classes in those 4 years, that’s 8 more classes that the guy in excuseville.
I started thinking about this because of Toastmasters. I think about so many of my fellow members that are able to progress and improve their speaking abilities. I also see those that are living in excuseville, giving occasional speeches but never really progressing. I’m thinking about this because of the effect it can have on a club, to have members that are stagnant. As the head of Marketing for this group (in Kansas and Western Missouri), I wonder about how to get folks motivated and keep the organization appealing to new members.
To that end, I’m working on a message to focus on “Moving Forward” toward you goals, so I just need to refine that message and come up with some good methods to:
1. identify your goals
2. determine a realistic path to those goals
3. identify success factors toward achieving those goals
4. staying motivated when progress is slower than expected
I’ll keep working on this and post some decent (!) results in the next week or so. Editor’s update: The follow-on post is titled More Moving Forward.
Spoiler alert:“Move Forward” is one of the top candidates for my theme as presumptive District Governor in 2011-2012…
Need a quote for your next party? Here are some that you may find useful, along with one perception of what they mean:
Craig Valentine
“What got you here won’t get you there” – from the book World Class Speaking
My thought: Sticking with what works is very Human. However, sometimes you need to make those changes to become more (or even stay) successful. In a related quote, Janet Jackson once said “What have you done for me lately?” To be successful, you should be able to answer that question for your boss, your clients, or your family at a moments notice.
Darren LaCroix
“I’ve never had a mentor ‘nice me into growth’” – from the August Champ Camp in Connecticut
My thought: Validation and Growth have one thing in common – they’re both words. Beyond that, they are the difference between someone telling you that you’re good and someone helping you become better.
That’s not a licence to run around telling everyone the whole ugly truth. As I always say, know your audience and know what they need to hear, what they want to hear and what they can take. It’s just like in Toastmasters, when anyone speaks, you will have 20 things you could mention that need to be worked on. Tell me about all 20, and I may get discouraged. Tell me I was great, and nothing will change. Tell me about 3 things, and I can grow.
Ed Tate
“Review your keepers” – from the August Champ Camp in Connecticut
My thought: This was one of the most valuable lessons from the 2 1/2 days there. Why, you ask? This was a technique Ed used, along with his “Think, Pair, Share” method to reinforce learning after each break.
Here’s how it worked:
1. At the beginning of the seminar, we were introduced to the note pages for our “keepers”, where we would write down those things in the session that were of value to us
2. After each break, we were given a moment to go over our keepers and think about what we had learned
3. Next, we would pair up with a neighbor (a different person each time) and discuss what we had on our list
4. Finally, Ed would ask everyone to share one of keepers with the group (note: in a larger group you would limit the number of “shares”)
Between each Pair and Share segment, I think everyone in the room would pick up at least one keeper that they hadn’t thought of on their own.
If you do instructional sessions, I think this is one of the more valuable techniques you could incorporate into your teaching methods.
Alan Weiss
“If you don’t blow your own horn, there is no music” – from the book Million Dollar Consulting
My thought: There’s a difference between saying that you are good, and bragging that you are better than everyone around you. It’s okay to be good and say so. A little competition can be healthy too, just know when enough is enough.
I used to know people who said that if their boss didn’t put their accomplishments in their performance appraisals (and awards), they must not have been that good. Baloney. Whether it’s you current boss, future employers (i.e. your résumé) or a consulting client, you shouldn’t expect to be the talk of the town no matter how good you are. Be willing to say it out loud and articulate it so it makes sense.
Peter Drucker
“The best way to predict the future is to create it” – multiple sources
My thought: This is timeless. I’ll put it this way, if you are waiting for something to happen, get a piece of paper, an envelope, and a pen. Write down what you are waiting for, put it in the envelope and write today’s date on it, but add one month (i.e. if today is 30 Aug 09, write 30 Sep 09). Set it aside and open it on the date written. When you read it then, you will probably notice that you are still waiting. This method works if you add one month, one year, or 10 years. Don’t test that theory – go make that “thing” happen. Being on the right track only matters if you choose to move forward…
How’s that whole “procrastination” thing working out for you? More specifically, do you find yourself letting the pursuit of perfection (even occasionally) get in the way of getting things done?
While perfect may be an admirable goal, the fact is that getting something done is more profitable (and achievable) than perfect. To be clear, I’m not advocating a half-baked effort. Nor am I suggesting that “done” means “done forever”. It’s understandable not to just want to call something ready or complete just to say you’re done, but I’m referring to the other extreme where you keep feeling that you’re almost ready…almost ready…almost ready.
For a personal example, you need look no further than my website. For a while, I was waiting until I had everything ready before I published it. If I had kept waiting, there would just be a dream of a perfect website, with draft 17.0 on my hard drive. In fact, it probably wouldn’t be as good as the existing site is now, since I have made some changes based on some of the valuable user feedback I’ve received. Plus, having a site out there has prompted me to be more vigilant about improving it, and adding content. Much in the same way as starting this blog has helped adjust my mindset to put some sort of thoughts in writing, and to seek feedback for content in my coming book on public speaking. I admit it still needs work (I need to link the blog to my website, for one thing).
Frankly, I believe I spent more time spinning my wheels toward perfection with less to show for it than now that I’m taking the avenue toward getting things done. Now don’t get me wrong, my Xbox 360 game-score has not progressed well since I’ve taken this approach. But I consider that an acceptable sacrifice toward my overall life plan. Of course, I mean no disrespect to my Halo 3 friends.
Thanks to Darren LaCroix for this pearl of wisdom - ”Done is more profitable than Perfect”…
Have you heard that, based on the way the human brain is wired, you only have 37 seconds to capture an idea before it’s lost…possibly forever? I heard this recently from Ed Tate, and I know I’ve heard similar startments before. The difference is this: I wrote it down when Ed said it, so now I will reference him anytime I repeat it.
Best question you can answer this week: (How) are you capturing your ideas and thoughts? Note: N/A is not an acceptable answer. If you don’t have a firm answer, I submit the following: Coming up with an answer to that question could lead to a significant change in your life.
As always, this statement only applies to the Humans out there (i.e. you).
Let’s talk value. What is the value to you, if you’re not already capturing your ideas? Here’s my short list:
- Less Procrastination- rarely are these “37-second rule” thoughts actually ideas for the next light bulb or iPhone. They usually are things that you need to do, or ideas to maybe do something a little easier, faster or better. If you track them, you’ll find yourself getting more things done. Period.
- Increase productivity, both at work and home – your mind is always working on solutions to problems, whether you want it to or not. When a solution happens (way back in the back of your brain), it is transported to the 37-second storage area of your brain. If you fail to capture it or take action on it, who knows when or if it will surface again.
- Look smarter – remember, perception is reality. If you retain just 10% of those lost thoughts, you have a jump on a majority of the earth. That’s because so few people are doing this, and even fewer have photographic memories.
With tools like WordPress, FaceBook, and Twitter (to name just a few) we are finding ourselves exposed to more thoughts and ideas than any previous point in history. Of course, by definition if your reading something from one of these sources, it follows that you have something (computer, BlackBerry, iPhone, etc.) to record whatever those topics might provoke from your mind.
If you don’t have a method, consider having a way to track these ideas on your favorite electronic device. I personally keep a small notebook in my book bag (i.e. my Man Bag). Have no fear! Now that you’ve read this, your mind will work out a solution and give it to you in the shower tomorrow. Just remember to write it down somehow…
If you’ve ever posted a blog, and then the next day thought “what was that about?”, welcome to my day today. Why did I call my post “Ace your Introduction”, when I was clearly talking about the Opening sequence of your speech? You guessed it…I should stop posting so late at night. Now, if you read that post in the first 12 or so hours, you saw the bad title. When I noticed my error, I made a quick change to “Ace your Opening”, since that was what I was referring to. I’ll be sure to get it right on the audio lesson.
Are you wondering why I’m admitting my error in this post? Truthfully, it’s all about the process. As I put my thoughts out there, I will probably have some occasional errors. After all, this is “Talk to the Human”, not “Talk to the perfect dude who never makes a mistake and always types perfect ‘stuff’ and is generally ‘wow’ in everything he does”.com, right?
Continuing on with the thougth from last night, I seem to have developed a preference for using either a question or a quote for my spech openings. In complete disclosure I’d tell you that this is because my storytelling skills are still a bit lacking. That’s why I’m working on a home-study course from Craig Valentine on storytelling, and preparing to work out of the storytelling manual in my Toastmasters clubs. I intend to finish the Facilitating Discussion manual I’m working on at a 12 September training session.
I was just about to write that finishing the one manual will give me some available bandwidth to work on that Storytelling manual. That seems a little “non-human” for the Talk to the Human guy, doesn’t it? I heard that term used by someone to describe why they couldn’t take on a particular project (i.e. “not enough bandwidth, Rob”) and it really caught my attention.
It’s funny (at east to me) how something that seems wrong can turn out to be useful, such as using a word like that as an attention getter. Should I chalk that up to being an advanced technique, or just the random selection of an IT professional? You be the judge.
My point: I think the Story option will be the strongest of the choices for opening a speech, and so I’d like to be able to skillfully deliver an opening story that I could reference (call back to) during the body and even the conclusion of the speech. This means I really should take some of the advice I’ve heard and create a story file. Perhaps I’ll add that to my list of things to get done this week, that is if I have enough bandwidth…
Imagine yourself standing in front of a room full of people, all waiting for you to begin your presentation. Now imagine that you begin with the words “Did you hear the one about…”. Believe it or not, you just started digging a very deep hole for yourself. You’re probably thinking, “but Rob, how do I avoid that!”
You are in luck, because I’m working out my 3-minute audio lesson called “Ace your Opening”. You’ve probably heard the old adage, tell them what your going to tell them, then tell them, then tell them what you told them. The thing that’s missing there is the essential need for you to develop a connection with your audience. You don’t want to jump into that first main point until you’ve established that connection. Editorial note: In my speech, there will be a short story here about failing to connect with the audience.
Here are the three ways you can establish a connection right from the start. Each of these techniques is designed to be the very first thing you say when you address the audience. Let me repeat that, the very first thing you say. Why do I repeat that? Because someone will think I meant for you to use these techniques after “thank you Mr Toastmaster”, or “Ladies and Gentlemen”, or “I’m really glad to be here”, or … you get the idea.
What I’m suggesting is to use one of the options below starting with your very first word.
The first method you can use is to open with a story or a quote. This is a 1-dimensional approach, since it only includes you speaking. If you use a story, remember to keep it “you focused” as much as possible. For example, “do you remember what it was like at your high school prom? You should have been there at mine when… …you would have seen me…”. Use this method to include your audience in the story. Of course, the story should meet a few criteria:
- it should relate to your presentation
- it can include humor, but probably not include jokes
- you should be able to call back to it throughout the presentation. i.e. “Just like my high school prom date told me, ‘ It’s just the way it is’”.
If you choose a quote, make sure you do a couple of things:
- again, it should relate to your presentation
- you should quote a source most (if not all) of the audience would be familiar with
- both the subject and the source should relate to your presentation. i.e. quote Gen Patton or Stephen Covey on leadership, Jay Leno or Dave Berry on humor, etc.
The next method you can use is to open with a question. This is a 2-dimensional approach, and had two really good purposes. The first is to get them thinking right off the bat. Once they’re thinking, they’re involved…and you’re getting connected. Second, you can gauge their overall energy level by their response, and work your next segments accordingly.
The final method for today’s post is opening with an activity. This is a 3-dimensional approach, since it involves true audience interaction. BEWARE- this is not for the novice or the unprepared crowd. It can be tough enough to make activities work in the middle of a presentation, but to open with one, you’ll need to be on your game. If you pull this one off, you’ll have a high energy room with an audience that is glued to your entire program. If you bomb it, well…ouch. I recommend feeling comfortable with leading activities in other parts of the speech before trying this.
A successful connection with your audience doesn’t have to be a difficult pursuit. By using one of the techniques I’ve discussed, you can make that connection, fell comfortable and confident, and with practice, Ace your Opening.
FAQ: If it took you longer than three minutes to read this. Fear not, the audio version will be just fine…
Raise your hand if you’ve dealt with someone who won’t take yes for an answer. If it was you, keep your hand up until the end of the post. After last night’s entry, I spent some time on Alan Weiss’ website, and even subscribed to his newsletter. When I read the newsletter this morning, I had an immediate “ah-ha” moment when I read the part about people saw good news as simply a prelude to coming bad news. He mentions a type of person that sees every turn representing potential trouble, every new person as a threat, and each new request as a burden. These folks seem drawn to “no”, looking for it at every opportunity.
You might be wondering if I’m advocating a “yes to everything” approach to life. Of course not. My point is not to go through life all willie-nillie. I’m just thinking about times I’ve had to work really hard to convince someone to try something new (including providing proof that it’s legal/okay/etc), only to have it torpedoed by someone else musing “I’m not sure if we can do that”.
Have you had that happen to you?
You may be asking “What’s the point?” FAQ: Because I know this is an issue many people deal with, I’m looking to make a speech that discusses techniques for dealing with a negative person like this, especially when it’s someone in a position of authority. I’m curious what tips you may have that you would be willing to leave as a comment on this post? Here’s a few of the ideas that I’ve had success with:
1. Try to get the “someone else” to see your point of view first. This means that you have to know who the enabler is, but if you’ve dealt with this before, then you know how to find them.
2. Do the legwork to really prove your idea is sound, and come up with contingency plans in case it doesn’t turn out as great as you predict.
3. Don’t exaggerate the benefits. Once you get that reputation, you’ll spend years trying to get past it.
4. Get others on board to help you. Not as a gang, but simply to build your credibility. Don’t turn negative yourself with things like “so-and-so said you wouldn’t agree” or anything to create additional conflict.
5. If others won’t agree with your ideas, realize that you may not always be right.
My thought is to turn those into three salient points to support staying positive in the face of negativity. If it turns into a decent speech, I’ll post it on YouTube.
By the way, item #5 from last nights post was: Submit three proposals to speak to other non-profit organizations. Tonight I completed sending four to some of our local Rotary Clubs. Also, I finished developing a 5-7 minute speech from the convention to give to the next Toastmasters audience that wants to hear it.
Now if only I could finish Alan’s book…
Have you ever looked at the clock on a Sunday night and wondered “Was this a productive weekend?” Welcome to my Sunday. As I stare at my copy of Money Talks by Alan Weiss, I realize I didn’t finish the one thing this weekend that I had hoped to complete. So far, it’s turned out to be a fantastic book on professional speaking. Although I haven’t finished it yet, I can wholeheartedly recommend it for anyone thinking about pursuing a career as an expert who speaks professionally.
You may be wondering, “is that all you did…not read?” Well, no. I did manage to read some of the book (hence my recommendation). I also bought and installed a new printer, an Epson Artisan 800. This snazzy device does a lot, plus prints directly to printable CDs. Much more professional looking that that silly lightscribe. Anyway, I used my new printer to finish up 10 copies of my CD Panic to Power, featuring me along with three World Champions of Public Speaking. The CD has some excellent tips and techniques to make you a better speaker, and only costs $19.95. It will be available for order from my website by the end of the week, so stay tuned.
One of my more interesting goals for this week will actually happen at work. I’m putting together a 60-90 minute presentation on risk management for project managers at my company. I intend to be able to include it in a longer PM training plan for the future, but for now covering this one area in project management will be good for my company, and should lead to at least one good testamonial for my favorite human (me). I won’t bore you with the specific points about risk management, but it is one of the least understood aspects of project management, in my experience.
Beyond that, here’s a short accountability list for the week:
1. Finish Money Talks.
2. Get my Panic to Power CD on my website and ready to sell.
3. Contribute to my blog each day.
4. Work on some of my “Lt Gov Marketing” tasks for Toastmasters.
5. Submit three proposals to speak to other non-profit organizations.
6. Complete and post one 3-minute audio lesson on my website.
And do it all while feeding the family (keeping my job).
See, I did get some things done this weekend…
I had the good fortune to read a survey question recently that asked “if the speaker had stayed on agenda and met his goal”. I say good fortune in the same sense that Jay Leno used to refer to his good fortune after certain political figures spoke in public. You may ask yourself (or e-mail me, if you must) why I thought that was good fortune? Here’s the FAQ: it was good fortune for me because it ties into my theme for this post – Know your Audience.
Where’s the connection, you ask? If you re-read the survey question above, you’ll notice that the speaker’s concern was for their own goals, not the needs/wants of the audience. Put another way, when you hear someone give a presentation, do you say to yourself “I hope they say what they came to say”, or are you thinking “I hope this is worth my time”? You may not word it precisely the same, but I bet you’re thinking the second one more often than the first.
Knowing the Audience is critical for any expert when preparing to speak to any size group. You may have learned about the importance of knowing what you’re going to say, but that shouldn’t really be your main goal. Taking the time to determine what your audience needs to hear should be your first order of business. You can use a variety of methods, such as interviews, talking to the meeting planner, and even your own personal experience.
There’s an amazing side effect to knowing your audience: you’ll be for comfortable and you’ll be seen as more professional and better prepared that other speakers. It’s all about solving that need your audience has. As I mentioned above “Is it worth my time?” is a question asked by every audience member, even if only in their own minds. Your mission is to make the answer “Yes!”
This first concept of knowing your audience will get a lot more coverage in coming posts. Stay tuned…