Talk to the Human™

As a member of Toastmasters, I’ve had the good fortune to have many experienced speakers provide me with guidance, feedback, and advice. Toastmasters uses the term Mentor to describe the person who helps you reach your goals. Although many members can act in that capacity, usually you only have one named as your mentor.

What surprises me is how many folks join Toastmasters to improve, and then don’t take advantage of the mentoring opportunities – from both sides of the relationship. As an example, I recently agreed to be the Toastmasters mentor for someone in my club that I’ll call “A.B.” (because I want to).

“A.B.” and I had lunch today and we spoke about some of his goals, and also about some things that I am doing right now (i.e. this blog). The idea I had in discussing my blog with him was to talk about some of the things I have learned doing this, and I even suggested that he try something similar. I did stress that he not feel the need to necessarily post/publish his thoughts to Al Gore’s Internet right off the bat, but simply get them down on “paper” so he could review them.

Before I talk about what happened next, think about one of the Leadership Giants of our generation, Dr. Stephen Covey. In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (available in bookstores), the sixth habit is Synergize. In short, this habit says that we can create more working together than we can working separately. Put another way, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. Covey’s words.

Back to the story:

“A.B.” and I talked about his goals and how Toastmasters would help him improve his abilities (he’s already a solid speaker – he won our club’s annual Humorous Speech contest two weeks ago). But guess what else happened? Did you say Synergy? Good show! While we were talking about putting thoughts on paper and working out story files, a couple of ideas surfaced about how I could format my future book and/or tighten the focus of this blog. So, while I went there to help “A.B.”, I ended up with some tangible benefits as well (on top of that whole “it feels good to help others” thing).

 So, what did “A.B.” get out of this process? I can’t answer for him, but I hope at least a couple of things:
1. Some ideas for the process of becoming a better speaker
2. The wisdom of Rob (!)

As for me, I can speak to what benefits I recieved:
1. A new friend that I can learn from
2. Some ideas to improve my own writing and speaking
3. An idea for tonights post (this, obviously)
4. Bonus: An idea or two (on mentoring) for future Toastmasters speeches

If you’ve passed on the idea of having a mentor or being one yourself, you may be underestimating the incredible value of the relationships that you’re missing. Like many things in life you can learn some things from reading and hearing about them, but you’ll never see the true value and potential you can reach until you step up to the plate and take on that mentor role. For just an hour or two per month, you can make a difference in a fellow Toastmasters journey to success, and even move a bit closer on your own journey.

Heck, I’d even call that “Win-Win”, if Dr. Covey hadn’t beat me to it in Habit #4…

What is the difference between writing and editing? For the purpose of this post, and to help draw a contrast to yesterday’s post “Writing for Speakers“, I’ll define these terms simply as follows:

Writing is the process of putting your thoughts on paper (or the Internet)
Editing is the process of making your writing palatable to others

Believe it or not, I do take the time to do some limited editing on these posts, but I’ll invite you to judge that for yourself.

If you chose to follow my writing advice from yesterday (or were already of that mindset), the next step to take is to edit your writing for clarity.  Don’t get too hung up on order; it’s alright to do some of your editing while your still developing content (i.e. writing).

For strictly written work, there are a number of techniques, such as reading your text backwards, having others edit your work, or a myriad choices you can pick from. These are still valid options for editing your planned speeches as well, but there are some other options you should consider as well:

1. Editing while you practice your presentation. I can’t count the number of times I have practiced a story for the first time, only to realize I let myself take a tangent or two that doesn’t really help the story, or the point. It’s good to make an extra effort to work through those stories so only the relevent parts make the cut.
2. Building on that, get a “flip” video recorder (or use your existing video camera) and tape yourself practicing. You can watch yourself before you present in public, and make some changes as needed.
3. Get yourself a “mastermind group“. That’s a group of people (can be any number, but 2-4 is a good number) you meet with periodically to work together with on your goals. Sometimes you can find a person who is secretly a fantastic editor at heart.

 What you can use to help your editing:
1. Your audience analysis – as I mentioned in the last post, a “going to college” story would be different for high school students vs. adult learners
2. Your promise – what specifically will your audience get from your presentation
3. Your outline – does that anecdote fit in with that point? do your transitions tie points together?

In fairness, some of this may sound daunting. Remember, just because your toolbox has a hammer in it doesn’t mean that every problem is a nail. What that means is you don’t need to video every time you practice and devote a block of 3-hours and a group of editors to help you. sometimes all you need is 10 minutes with a pen for that 5-7 minute presentation.

Will editing improve your final product? Most certainly. In fact, you may find that the concerted effort will lead to improvements in your writing process as well. This can turn both your written and verbal finished products into more successful posts and speeches.

Should a speech be written before it is practiced and presented? I’ve heard a variety of answers to that question, and I’ve even made different choices in my own speaking experience. In this post, you’ll learn some specific tips on when you should answer yes, and when you may want to answer no.

Sometimes, the answer is clouded by the fallacy that if you put it in writing, you’re planning to either memorize it or read it. This, of course, is Hooey. Taking the time to write your speech out before you give it can accomplish at least these few things:
1. You will be able to see your outline, your opening, and your conclusion to see if it fits in your plan
2. You will be able to see how the timing of your speech works
3. You will have clearly done some preparation, rather than just “wing it”

Many experts would tell you that, in fact, it is important not to memorize your speech, but to internalize it. What’s the difference? To internalize it, you need to practice and really know your topic. You may (and should) not present it exactly the same each time, but the overall content and message would be the same.

Example: You have a main point about setting goals, and a story about how you completed your college degree. For a high school audience, you may point out that it’s never too early to start thinking about their future. In your story, you’d mention than when you took you SAT test, you were already thinking about where you would go to school one day. For an audience of adult learners, your point would be that it’s never too late to move forward in their educational goals, and in your story cite statistics about adult graduation success that drove you to go back to school to finish your Masters Degree.

When would you not want to write out your speech? Good question. Here are my thoughts:
1. Anytime you’re happy with doing less than your best

Keep in mind, this doesn’t mean it needs to be written out word for word. Some preparation may call for more detail, some may allow you to use some of your own shorthand, like “Tell the University of Maryland graduation story – focus on how I felt seeing the Masters Degree students walk across the stage”. (A true story of mine, by the way)

For a next step, I’d invite you to look at my post “3-dimentional winner” to see how you can use a method I learned from Ed Tate to help make your presentation more successful.

Should a speech be written before it is practiced and presented? That answer is going to be yes, anytime you want to increase the success of your presentations. Don’t try for a literary masterpiece, just get your thoughts down on paper so you can deliver the best presentation possible. The extra few minutes you spend crafting the written word will pay dividends in reduced practice time, and a better result in front of your audience. Try it, and you’ll be glad you did.

I had the good fortune to be able to watch 3 Toastmasters contests today, and I saw some outstanding humorous speeches. What I saw made me laugh,and it made me think about the differences in contest speeches and other presentations.

 To be honest, there is one significant similarity that any contestant needs to remember. It’s my favorite topic: Know your Audience. Any speech or presentation you give should be constructed with the final audience in mind. Because the composition changes, so should some of the content. Here’s how the audience changes, in general terms:

Club Contest
over 80% of the audience knows you
less than 20% doesn’t

Area Contest
roughly 20-50% know you (unless this is your 3rd time competing)
over 50% don’t know you
close to that 50% don’t know anything about your club
about 20% may not have ever seen a Toastmasters contest before

Division Contest
only 10-30% know you (again,unless this is your 3rd time competing)
over 70% don’t know you
close to that 50% don’t know anything about your club, your business, or where in town you’re from
about 30% may not have ever seen a Toastmasters contest before

District Contest (final stage for fall contests)
probably less than 10% know you (may 30% if this is your 3rd time competing)
over 90% don’t know you
close to that 90% don’t know anything about your club, your business, or where in Kansas/Missouri you’re from
about 30% may not have ever seen a Toastmasters contest before

Remember, the better your audience knows you. the easier it is to make a connection. Here are a couple of tips:

1. Arrive early, and meet people who are attending. If people know who you are, they’ll start rooting for your sooner.
2. Practice in the speaking area as much as possible <– this one is a specific tip from the World Champs.
3. Tie your conclusion to the opening. i.e. If I start off with an Anthony Robbins quote and then give a speech on leadership, I make sure to mention Anthony again in the conclusion.
4. Don’t leave unanswered questions in your presentation. In one contest I’ve attended this year, I remember the speaker making a point, but leaving an insignificant fact untold. During the interview, the contest master asked, “so what happened to so-and-so?” Even though that character was immaterial to the story, the minor cliffhanger was still on the minds of the audience.

 Great contests, great speakers, and great fun. ’nuff said.

I was speaking to a friend last night who was advising me to think about using titles for my posts that would be more keyword-friendly (I’m paraphrasing). I realize that he’s right, especially when I look back on some posts with titles that could double as episode names for some cancelled TV show.

I think over the next week or two I’ll try to make the titles a bit more descriptive, including good keywords to help you, the reader, to be able to forsee what will be covered in the post.

Since tomorrow morning in our local Toastmaster Area contests, I imagine tomorrow night’s post will be on a speaking subject, and may include stories or tips learned at the contests.

When it comes to your future, do you feel that you are on the right course, or are you “all over the map”?

When I was working on my pilot’s license last year, I learned the difference between course and heading. Yes, they have similar definitions, but they are the difference between getting to your destination and simply going in a straight line. 

A course is simply defined as the direction, measured in degrees from magnetic north, from point A to point B. For instance, when I would plot a course from the Airport in Wichita to one in the St. Louis area, my course would be 080. For reference, 090 is due east.

The problem is, if I were to steer my plane 080 and fly for 3 hours, I might never see the St. Louis area at all, much less my destination airport (usually Festus). Why, you ask? Just one word: Wind.

You see, the problem is that while I’m flying, I’m not steering a course. I’m steering a heading. If my heading is 080, and there is any wind out of the north, my true course could be 085, 090, or worse. Suddenly, I’m over Memphis, not St. Louis. Ug. You see, your heading has to be equal to your course plus or minus any wind correction angle.  

So what does that mean to you, the non-pilot? Let’s say you set a course to get in better shape, more specifically defined as losing 2 inches off of your waist and increasing your bench press by 30 pounds. Then, an unexpected wind comes from the North. That is, you injure your shoulder blogging too much. Now bench pressing more that 10 pounds causes you pain. What do you do? Do you ignore this wind (i.e. the pain) and keep working, or do you adjust your heading to get back on course?

As a pilot, I would have to make that change to make sure to get to that destination.  It takes a little bit of math to compute the new heading, and you have to compare your progress with established landmarks (enroute towns and radio sites, called VORs). For the shoulder injury (caused, in my case, by a skiing blunder in 2006) I had to adjust my gym plan to stop upper body lifting and concentrate more on elliptical and stationary bike work. It was frustrating and the progress was slower, but I was able to keep moving toward my goal by watching my milestones, albeit not in the way I would have prefered.

Do you find yourself setting a big goal and starting off in the right direction, only to find you missed the final target? If so, you’re not alone. Next time, try these steps:

1. Decide what your goal is and what path you’ll take to get there.
- This could be a college degree, a specific fitness goal, or any other goal.

2. Look at your “map” and decide what “towns” are on your route. These are your milestones.
- An associates degree is on the way to a bachelors, dropping 2 inches off of your waist is on the way to a 6-inch loss, making $500 for a speech is a “town” on your way to being a paid professional speaker 

3. As you move forward, look out of the window and see if the next town is in sight. If it’s not where you expected, adjust your heading to compensate.
- If you’ve worked out for 6 months and have the same measurements, maybe you need to cut back on sugar and soda-pop. Don’t be afraid to ask an expert! Pilots get check rides sometimes to make sure they are proficient. You can to.

4. Watch your fuel! Sometimes a straight headwind can make it take longer to get where you’re going than you can sustain in one jump. Find one of your enroute airports and make a pit stop.
- Sometimes it can take longer than you expect to finish a bachelors degree. if you see the associates outside the window, finish that one and make a refuel stop.

5. Once you arrive at your destination, close your flight plan! (the FAA gets mad at you if you skip this step – don’t ask)
- Hang that degree on the wall or have a ceremonial “burning of the pants”

don’t confuse your desired course with your current heading. Take the time to check your landmarks, refuel when you need to, and make sure you are still moving toward your true destination. If you think like a pilot and stay on course, you’ll not only see your goals and dreams materialize, but you’ll be fueled up and ready for the next flight!

Do you know why games like reversi and solitare (and later minesweeper) have been included with the Windows operating systems? The short version is that Microsoft felt that a set amount of time playing games helped refocus the mind, so they deemed so much time per day for that effort. All studies aside, if you ask any normal Human out there, they’re likely to agree that some sort of “down-time” activity is important to their continued success (if not sanity).

If you’ve read any of my other posts, you’re probably thinking that I’m going to recommend a certain book or pain-stick ritual to use for down time. WRONG! Each person has to pick their own down-time ritual. I will say this, though: TV and Facebook are not the right answers either. In fact, the reason Microsoft included strategy games (but not highly difficult ones) is that they stimulated a different area of the mind, and helped spark creativity.  

This really is a very personal process, and you may not even know what works best for you, since you may not have tried the right down-time ritual yet. It could be the games mentioned above, it could be crosswords, Sudoku, or cryptographs. It could be light reading (fiction, readers digest, or Martha Stewart’s magazine). It could be…

I could make a list of over 100 activities, and still not stumble on to the one that will work for you (ice fishing?). The point is to remember to take a break from time-to-time, refresh yourself, and then…get back to work!

How many books do you read per week? Per month? Per year? I’m told that once Americans finish school, on average, they read less than one non-fiction book the rest of their lives. Ouch. Since I know many folks who do choose to read, at least from time-to-time, I have to believe this means there are a lot of folks out there reading zero books.

This leads me to hypothesize some reasons for the zero book club members, as well as some possible strategies to combat those reasons.  If I were to use this as something to help influence others, it seems ironic that I would choose to use the printed word to reach those who have taken a vow of readinglessness. That’s not a word, of course. But, since my target audience isn’t reading this anyway, who cares?

In project management, we have what is called the triple constraint. In any project, you are constrained by either time, money, or quality. Said another way, you can have it fast, cheap, or good. Pick any two. I think this triple constraint can explain why people do, or don’t do, a lot of things.

1. Time- we all say we don’t have enough time, and it’s easy to let self-improvement take the hit in our schedules. Here’s today’s blockbuster phrase™ that you may not want to hear: You have enough time to do the things that are truly important to you. The real question is, what are you making important in your own life, or what are you letting others make important for you?

If time is your issue when it comes to reading, here are a couple of things I learned in project management training that can help:
a. Set realistic goals (i.e. one book a month, or one every two months to start).
b. Establish milestones (mini goals) to track your progress (i.e. 15 pages every Tuesday and Thursday, 40 pages each Sunday)
c. Write down you goals and milestones, and chart them over time.
d. Find something you can give up, or reduce the time you spend doing so you can add in this new goal. (i.e. give up one 30 minute TV show per week, or read during halftime)

2. Money – a book habit can be expensive, especially if you choose to buy in hardcover and ignore sale opportunities. I don’t have a “you have all the money you need” phrase for this one. Lots of us are feeling the pinch in this economy. Prioritization can play a part here too, but don’t forget your local library. Better than that: Start a book exchange with your friends. You don’t have to go to the extreme of hosting your own book club, but you can talk with a few friends once in a while and exchange books. Plus, that will help you stay on task to finish you book if you know you need to give it up next month. This one is a money saver and it gives you some common things to talk about. Don’t have friends? Try using a bulletin board at work to get the ball rolling.

3. Quality- Saving the best for last is almost cliché, isn’t it? After all, like I mentioned above you will find the time, and usually the money, to do what is truly important to you, right? So what’s the thing stopping most of the zero book club members? However you want to specifically phrase it, many people don’t believe that reading will make any valuable difference in their lives. Can you belive it? Disclaimer: No single book will make you a PhD by next week. The fact is the changes come in small, manageable doses. If you truly believe that reading won’t make a difference in your life, I’d like to recommend you take a three-book challenge. Finish the three books I list below, and if after you read them, you can’t find a single thing that helped you in your life, let me know. I will write your story for the blog and make you a nationally known phenomenon. Here are the books:

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey
The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell
First, Break All the Rules by Marcus Buckingham
Bonus Book: Talk to the Human™ by Rob Christeson (to be published, 2010)

Put those three constraints to work for you, and you’ll find some interesting improvement opportunities for yourself. It has nothing to do with becoming the next CEO of your company. With the economy the way it is, rampant outsourcing, and increased competitiveness in the workplace, you need every edge you can get.

Don’t be a member of the zero book club; their book bag doesn’t even match your shoes…

Wow,

With the best of intentions, it took me very little effort to completely ignore the rule about providing benefits to the reader in yesterday’s post. What do I mean? To help explain, I’m going to recount (i.e. cut and paste) what I wrote on my plan for my first newsletter:

To start the process, here’s what I’m thinking of for the first edition:

1. An article on this blog, and what I’ve done with it so far.
2. An article on Moving Forward, which is one of my signature themes.
3. And of course, an article on what Talk to the Human™  really means.

What is the problem with this? I’m glad you asked. The problem is that the description isn’t very YOU focused. By YOU, I mean you, the reader. In other words, I spent three lines telling you what I wanted to tell you, instead of telling you what you will gain from that first newsletter. How could I have done better? Another good question! You are spot-on today. Here’s version 2.0:

To start the process, here’s what you can expect to learn from the first issue:

1. How blogging can help you capture your thoughts and ideas. Plus, how to avoid some simple pitfalls.
2. Follow three easy steps to identify the right track (it may be under your feet), and start Moving Forward toward your goals.
3. Four keys to taking the talk off-line and on-point. Talk to the Human™ isn’t just a catchy phrase, it’s a path you can follow to see greater success.

So, is that any better? Maybe it’s not the most significant improvement in literary history, but I think you can see how the second version might be more attractive to potential readers (i.e. YOU). If you don’t agree, you may not realize that your eyes are currently closed. It’s okay, I’ve typed a couple of blogs at 2:00am (one of the possible pitfalls), so I know how some of you schedule your on-line time (think: Facebook chat feature – I can see if you’re on-line). I won’t call you out by name, but you know who you are.

My point of this post is to correct what was a less-than-effective method and make the adjustment to the you-focused syntax for better clarity. This is one of the best simple, but not always easy, changes any of us can make when we speak. After getting some very specific advice on this, I’ve been working on this myself over the last few months. I’ve found that it’s still the default in my mindset to start with “I…” when I speak. Some examples include:

1. I’m going to talk about…
2. I’m going to tell you…
3. I want you to learn…
4. I hope that…
5. We’re going to talk about…

It’s good to tell people what you’re going to tell them, but it’s better to tell them how they’re going to benefit from giving you their time. Here are some recommended fixes I’ve learned from other speakers:

a. You’ll receive 3 tools to…
b. You’re going to hear the 4 keys to…
c. In the next 30 minutes, you’re going to learn…

Also, don’t tell them “I hope bla…bla…bla…” Your audience doesn’t care what you hope, just what they will get. I had a commander once that said “hope is not a plan.” If you hope to do something, I invite you to practice a few more times until you’re sure. Then, use option a, b, c, or another you-focused opening.

I harp on the hope wording because I like to mention my hope when I speak. It hasn’t been easy to move past this problem, since I seem to hope a lot of things.

Focusing your conversations on the benefits to your audience by using you-focused statements is an important rule to follow. This is one you shouldn’t break when you speak to an audience, or when you type to one in your blog. Keep those thoughts you-focused, and your audience will be back for more…

When I started my website up a couple of months ago, I intended to include a monthly newsletter as a part of the plan. You may or may not know that I have not yet set up a recurring newsletter yet. If you’re wondering “why?” I haven’t done that yet, the answer is rather straightforward, and also rather flawed. The answer: content.

If you’ve read even 10% of the 30+ posts I’ve created in this last month, you’d be justified in wondering why I am falling back on the content excuse. It seems clear, in hindsight, that I should be able to put together two or three decent articles per month for a newsletter. Maybe even a bit more than that.

So, on to this week’s goal: I’ll put together my first edition of my monthly newsletter this week, and post it on my website, with instructions here and on the site to allow those interested to opt in and receive it each month.

To start the process, here’s what I’m thinking of for the first edition:

1. An article on this blog, and what I’ve done with it so far.
2. An article on Moving Forward, which is one of my signature themes.
3. And of course, an article on what Talk to the Human™  really means.

I think it will just be a matter of refining some existing content in the blog, and shaping it into something readable. An additional goal here is to get published again in my local newspaper (likely with the second article). I spoke, in person, to the (human!) Business Editor of the Wichita Eagle last week, and he seemed amiable to publishing another article. I just hope I can come up with something worthy of being printed.

Stay tuned…