Talk to the Human™

Have you heard (or read) opinions about how competing, and even winning, a Toastmasters contest has no real value in “regular” speaking?

I have, and I find it very confusing. With the exception of some very specific types of speaking, such as debates, I can’t understand why people have trouble translating great contest speeches into great speaking in general.

In a previous post, I wrote about some lessons I learned from watching contest speeches, especially at the top level. In this entry, I’ll describe how those same lessons apply to “regular speaking” (if there is such a thing).

First was, Have a message. In contest speaking, I think this is the single most important aspect of a winning speech. This is such an obvious need for any presentation, including project reviews, performance discussions, and any training that I can’t imagine how you wouldn’t see the correlation. No matter when you talk, without a message you are just blabbing. Right?

Next was Tell your own compelling story. While much of our corporate-style speaking may seem to be devoid of storytelling, the fact is that it is still the best way to make your point stick. It may be true that your boss only wants the brief facts without anything “extra”, but the fact is this is still an invaluable skill to have. You should be ready to back up your point with a story in case the boss wants more detail.

Use humor appropriately. I’ve had a couple of rare bosses with no sense of humor, but in a majority of cases even the most stoic of bosses like a little humor thrown in. Appropriately for those circumstances does mean to use caution and keep it professional, but it doesn’t mean you can’t elicit an occational chuckle.

Finally was Set the stage with grand and normal gestures. In this case, you may stay with more conservative gestures, but again the watchword is appropriate. Yes, it would be rare to use the type of stage presence that the Champs have used to win those awards. But knowing and practicing the appropriate gestures for your topic, audience, and stage is still a skill that will make a positive difference in any presentation.

The next time someone tels you that contest speaking has no bearing in “real” speaking (be sure you use the air quotes in your response), remember these tips. You can most certainly apply those skills you learn while competing. They wouldn’t just apply to professional speaking, but to corporate, volunteer and most other types of speaking.

Alan Weiss, PhD has a long list of successful books. The book Million Dollar Consulting is considered “THE definitive work to grow a solo consulting practice.” Just by itself, you can learn a great deal about the process of starting your own business. However, to take your learning and preperation a step further, there is the Million Dollar Consulting Toolkit.

In this work, you’ll find checklists, guidelines, forms, templates, examples, suggested reading material (referencing greats like Peter Drucker), and additional helpful resources. Also, there are links to downloadable forms and templates from the publisher’s web site. Of course, Alan’s website has some great information as well.

What’s great about this book:
You can read it cover to cover, or if you have some focused concerns you can work through the areas of greatest interest first. Alan covers all of the essentials, such as:
Managing your office or home practice – including checklists for equipment, insurance, and other professional needs (Tax, Attorney, Web Designer, etc.)
Marketing and Selling your services – including techniques and examples on how to make cold calling less “cold”
Traveling for Business
Managing your own web site
Balancing life and work
Finding new leads and repeat business
Forms – invoices, expense reimbursments, etc.
Article Writing – including a “letter to the editor” template
Advanced Marketing techniques – like interviews, book publishing and professional speaking
And – as it say on the back of the book – Much More!

Limiting Factors:
While you can easily use this without reading Million Dollar Consulting, it really does work better as a companion product.

Great Quotes:
Speaking and Consulting should be a synergy

Recommendations:
This is both a useful read and a critical reference if you are looking to consult or speak for a living.  Since I purchased it last year I’ve referenced it countless times as I have begun the process of my own business.

Rob’s Rating system (bolded, the rating is)
Buy now at full price
Buy if you get a discount
Wait for the paperback
Wait for someone else to be done with the paperback
If you’ve read my review, you got the jist of it

Have you found yourself with an opportunity to give a presentation, and no idea what to talk about? Maybe you are trying to decide on that next Toastmasters speech topic. You are about to learn a method that you can use next time you have to give a presentation.

Think about three things that you are good at, and that the audience could have an interest in. It could be anything; doing taxes, car repair, designing aircraft, public speaking, fishing, car racing, bowling, blogging, Xbox…you get the idea.

Take those three topics, and come up with a single idea about each. For the above ideas, for instance you could use using a specific tax software, the best equipment for bass fishing, and how WordPress makes you a better blogger.

Give those three topics to the meeting organizer, and ask which topic would work best for that audience. Try to do this in advance. Then, when you have your answer you can prepare and deliver a presentation that works for you and your audience.

Now all you have to do is be good at three things, right?

After I wrote my post on why you should be brief, I received a request for a more practical “how to” series to improve your writing and speaking by being brief.

The first step to being brief is to eliminate unnecessary words. Take the following example:

I went to the store, with my dog, to shop for some groceries.

You have three ways to work with a sentence like this:
1. Eliminate the prepositional phrase, “with my dog” – best if you don’t really need to include the dog in the story
2. Eliminate the redundancy of store and groceries – I went shopping or I went to the store for <something specific>
3. Eliminate the lack of humor – You may wonder why I took my dog grocery shopping? He never knows what flavor of kibbles he wants until he sees them.

Brevity isn’t always about shortening your first draft. It’s really about finding the best way to deliver your message without wasting words or repeating yourself (first draft said “repeating yourself unnecessarily”). Take that first draft and see where you can eliminate the needless words.

Tonight I gave a 9-minute speech on the subject of planned spontaneity, or the art of being ready to speak off-the-cuff. This was based on my post a couple of weeks ago on that subject. However, I modified it enough that I wanted to post the overview, since the speech included some new material.

This is the format for the notes that I used, so it may look a bit strange…hey, it’s how I work.

Opening:
Have you found yourself having to answer a question at work and you weren’t prepared? How about at home?  Public speaking can be scary all by itself, but talking to your boss unexpectedly may be even more scary.

Tonight you’ll learn some ways to improve your preparation, how to avoid some common mistakes and some keys to speaking with confidence, and you’ll be able to execute some planned spontaneity.

There are three keys to being successful at those unplanned speaking situations. First, you need to know yourself. While this includes understanding concepts like using your voice and gestures, it can be different in those hallway drive-by situations, and you’ll learn how…and why.

Second, you need to know your message. What topics are you likely to be asked in impromptu situations, and how much detail do you need to know?

Finally, much like in any scenario you need to know your audience. Having the right data on a project may be important, but if you flood your boss with irrelevant information, it could be worse than saying “I’ll get back to you”.

So, let’s get started. In any environment, you want to be aware of how you communicate with those around you. To better understand that, and be able to develop and use your skills, let’s talk about the first key, knowing yourself… 

Know Yourself
A – Some aspects the same as speaking
- Anecdote – story about using toastmaster skills on stage, compared to the hallway
                – “gesture so hard you take out a passerby”
                – don’t want to seem like a lifeless robot either
Reflect: “Can you see where some of these skills could apply to any situation?”
Sale: “Practice your skills for the big room and the small hall, just to be safe!”

B – Some more unique to one-on-one surprises
- Analogy – Hallway, seated in the cube, bosses office, conference room
Reflect: “Do you like the idea of making your style fit the environment?”
Sale: “As you work on these skills, it will help you get your message across.” 

Know Your Message
A – What do you get asked?
- Activity – “Guys, have you ever fielded a question from your wife, like ‘how does this dress look?’”
- Analogy – answering questions from the boss – avoid I hope and I’m waiting!!
– Better: “I contacted Chuck this morning and I’ll have an update to the status by tomorrow morning.”
Reflect: “Do you know what you’d say to some common questions in your work and home life?”
Sale: “Find the message you need to have ready, and you’ll feel better prepared.”

B – Prioritize your queue
- Anecdote– Answering the bedtime question on dating from my 12-year old son
Reflect: “Are there questions that need to be higher in your queue?”
Sale: “Getting caught off guard is as much about knowledge as it is priority, know what you need to know when you need to know it”

Know Your Audience
A – The message is delivered differently to different audiences
- Analogy – Comparing the dating story answer from my son to my wife
- Analogy – Comparing project status for my boss, my Program Manager, and my team
Reflect: “do you know how you’d adjust you status report for a different audience?”
Sale: “It may seem natural to tell your boss everything, but if you go with the least you can pass on, it will be appreciated.”

Conclusion:    You will find yourself having to answer those unexpected questions at work. It’s inevitable. Now you know some ways to improve your preparation, avoid common mistakes and keys to speaking with confidence.

Are you ready to know yourself, know your message and know your audience?   In any environment, you want to be aware of where you’ll have to communicate, what you’ll need to say, and how you’ll deliver the answer. As you better understand those facts, you’ll be in a better position to execute that planned spontaneity!

What do you do when PowerPoint fails?

Here’s the good news: PowerPoint never fails. The bad news, only you (the presenter) can fail. That is, of course, from the audience’s point of view.

That may sound a bit unfair (especially if you read it aloud), but it’s really not. Any aspect of your presentation can cause problems (i.e. lost notes, lack of practice, or bad slides), but you control how you handle those problems. In the case of a busted PowerPoint presentation, you have two choices that are totally dependent on you:

1. Be prepared so you can recover:
- Have other visual aides (i.e. handouts, flip chart, etc) ready if they are critical to your presentation
- Have the slides printed in case you were planning to use them as notes
- Practice your presentation with and without the slides, so you can work it either way
or

2. Fail because you weren’t ready

Your call.

Using hand gestures can be problematic for some speakers. Even award-winning speakers sometimes wonder what do to with their hands, especially when they are in-between gestures. This is a problem that you see many speakers deal with (or not) on a regular basis. Should I hold my hands in front, behind my back, or maybe in my cargo-pant pockets?

This is one of those things that just takes practice, and you can look at other speakers to see what looks right to you. Chances are, you’ll see that having your hands comfortably at your side is more natural than anything else. The trick is making it feel natural. If it feels natural to have your hands in your pockets, you’ll have to practice doing it differently. That means you’ll be uncomfortable for a while before you get comfortable again. That’s okay…that is what practice is for!

Using gestures, including those in-between gestures can be easy, once you’re used to it. Your goal may not be to become an award-winning speaker, but with a bit of practice and time on the stage, you’ll have a more natural look, feel more comfortable, and make a better connection with your audience.

How do you handle the need to speak off-the-cuff? Whether it’s at a holiday party, a bosses request for a status report, or a job interview question you were not ready for the answer to your success can be the same: Planned Spontaneity.

What does that mean? Simply put, you need to be ready to respond when you are caught off guard. Sounds easy when you say it out loud, but it does take a little work and preperation (plus a little practice) to get it right.

First, let’s deal with the intial work – preparing what you know.
1. Identify your three best topics (i.e. leadership, speaking and blogging)
2. Decide on your best story on each topic (i.e. something where you learned a useful lesson from another source)
3. Come up with transitions from common themes (i.e. holidays to speaking, “biggest challenge” to leadership, or your own common themes)

Second, find a venue to practice these stories (note: it helps to write them down).
1. You can use your mirror
2. You can use your Toastmaster’s club (if you are not a member, then join one)
3. Test your stories out on friends. See how they respond and adjust.

Third, freshen up your stories. Your life changes, and you will want to avoid using the same stories year after year. As you get better at this, and make yourself a story file, this will become easier.

Take the time to be prepared, and you can see success as a spontaneous speaker in a variety of real-world situations.

At this weekend’s Toastmasters District 22 Fall Conference in Topeka Kansas, many people had the opportunity to see some outstanding presentations, including some fantastic contest speeches. Watching these marvelous efforts, the question came to my mind of how these contestants handle that “next speech” in their home club after working so hard to give a contest-quality speech. 

I didn’t just think of this myself…oh no. During the conference, I was approached by a fairly new Toastmaster (pre-CC) who had competed and won her Club and Area Humorous Speech Contests this fall. That sort of thing happens when you wear a Tuxedo to dinner.

She asked my opinion about how to handle new expectations in her club environment, now that she was an Area speech contest winner. Listening to her question, I felt like she was concerned that if she were to deliver a speech in her club that was not a potential contest winning speech, she might lose some of the respect of her club members.

I have to admit when I look at it from her point of view, it seems like a pretty reasonable concern. After all, she had raised her own personal bar, so to speak, and was now struggling with whether or not she could consistently meet or exceed those new standards.

Are you wondering about the long answer, or do you just want to hear the short version?

Of course, you’re going to be able to read both (and if you read aloud, you’ll hear both too).

The short answer: “Don’t worry about it.”

That’s it? Don’t worry about it? That’s all you’ve got?

No.

The less-short answer: Remember that the Toastmasters program includes an incredible assortment of resources to allow you to learn and grow as a speaker and leader at your own pace. As you earn that first Competent Communicator (CC) award, you improve those basic delivery skills such as using gestures, vocal variety, and organization. With the Advance Communicator (AC) manuals, you develop and fine tune such critical competencies as storytelling, facilitating, and persuading (among many other skills).

As you develop those skills, some of your own shortcomings are going to be revealed to your club. The strength of your club environment is that your fellow members understand and even expect this (they’ve been through it too). They are not there to judge you, but to support you in becoming a better speaker and leader throughout each speech you give.

That means in this environment, you are actually not expected to make every single speech better than the last one. That’s right! You have permission…no no.. encouragement to take a step back once in a while. Why? Because doing so will help you take two steps forward. I speak the truth!

I understand the very real concern of that next speech not being what you’ve come to expect from yourself. After all, you practiced and prepared for the recent contest with great effort and conviction. That’s what your Toastmasters club is there for, after all. There you are, getting the opportunity to stretch your abilities and practice that next skill you need to reach another level.

Just remember that each speaking opportunity should include a goal (i.e. learning how to use visual aides, handling Q&A on controversial topics, or breaking the ice, etc.) and sometimes by stretching yourself, you’ll find the greatest opportunity for improvement. Hey, you may even surprise yourself with how amazing you become.

You just may not surprise your club, because they already know you’re going to get better. Just watch and see!

Sweet!

What is one of the most difficult skills to improve on as a speaker? If you read the title you probably guessed it. Without a doubt, the toughest speaking skill I’ve seen anyone master is the art of shutting up.

One of the ways this manifests itself is in our need to say “um” or “ah” during what should be a pause in our speaking. We do this in one-on-one conversation to hold the conversation so that we can keep on speaking. It’s about control, and our need to say everything that we’ve thought of, just in case one of our gems happens to solve world peace. Note: That did happen to me once, but I was interrupted before I could say it and lost the idea after 37 seconds.

In Toastmasters, I see many speakers struggle with eliminating those audible pauses, and that difficulty is for two main reasons:

1. It’s ingrained. We learn to do it at a young age and it’s an accepted speech pattern. No matter what, it’s a tough habit to break.

2. We know from that long experience if we give our opponents (audience) an opening, they’ll take the conversation from us and we’ll be stuck listening to someone else’s solution to world peace. Then they’ll get credit, fame, and the Nobel prize.

There’s the problem. Speakers practicing to eliminate those “ah” and “um” issues in their platform speaking suffer from an important shortfall: they don’t want (or try) to eliminate them in their day-to-day speech.

The trick: go ahead and listen a bit more often. Wow! That’s it. Just stop using “ah” and “um” and let the pause happen. If your opponent (friend, boss, etc.)  wants control of the conversation for now…let…them…have…it. Sorcery, right?

Here’s what you’ll find:

1. You’ll “ah”, “um” and make other noises less often.
2. You’ll speak a little less and listen a little more.
3. You’ll learn to get the important stuff out first, and end up just not saying the non-world-peace stuff anyway.
4. People like people who listen more than they talk (if you hate human’s…then this is a negative).
5. Your mouth will tire less often.

Eliminating those audible pauses from your speech patterns is a difficult and worthy goal. If nothing else, you’ll notice it yourself and become a more confident speaker. Think of it this way, it’s okay to practice the lost art of shutting up once in a while. You may find it makes you a better speaker, a better listener, and a better human. Give it a try…